Eostre

My dad loved cameras and chemistry. Those two parts, along with light, make up film photography, but to my dad I really think it was about the machine and the process more than the result.

This is one of my favorite photos of his. As with many families, holidays, special occasions, outings, and every day life were documented obsessively by my father. He had a couple old and beautiful 35mm cameras whose mechanisms were a mystery to me but whose actions comprised beautiful clicks and whirrs. Seeming hours were spent holding still with a smile frozen on my face while the timer was set and dad rushed to join a group portrait.

This photo is of my older brother and me, sometime before easter, some year in the 1970s. G and I were arguing, I remember that distinctly. I was crying because I was frustrated that his eggs were so much BETTER than mine. I wanted so badly to be as good at everything as my older brother. I was so frustrated by my limitations. 

My mom had set up our little 1950s cottage breakfast nook with all of the accoutrements for egg dying. I can still smell the vinegar in my mind, and feel how the pale blue shade of dye was my absolute favorite. My dad was most likely obliviously, perhaps obnoxiously, clicking away. He caught this moment as I was handing something to my brother to fix because I had given up.

My dad had a wry sense of humor. I've always thought it was funny how this photo shows a tender, greeting card-like sweetness, when behind the scenes there were tears and crankiness and probably a frustrated, tired mother...but with time and distance I see more of this photo's face value.

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Eostre is the Germanic goddess of the month of April. Eostre's arrival is equated with radiant dawn and resurrection. Things hidden under winter snows are revealed. Bulbs planted in the fall sprout and bring a sense of renewal. Hens begin laying again, baby animals are born. The arrival of spring.

What is new or revealing itself in your life, now that April has arrived?